Free gifts

I love to shop and delight in finding things that are perfect for my family and friends, especially if my finds are at a bargain price.  I also make sure that anything that I have and no longer use or need gets to wherever it's needed.  

However, there are times when I feel that I am the one who listens and tries to make sure that others are provided for.  In the next moment, I am berating myself for this ungenerous and egocentric thought.  It is clear that, through whatever grace, I am fully provided for with a roof over my head, more than enough food, with people who love me and with whatever worldly comforts I crave. 

After a call this morning, it became clear how blessed I am with the people in my life.  A friend with whom I have not talked in a while called to let me know that his mother is gravely ill and has been in the hospital for the last month, now facing chemotherapy.  We had a long encouraging conversation about what is going on in both our lives and then finally hung up when both our lives intervened with what has to be done now.

I was so grateful that, in his moment of need, he reached out to me, knowing, I hope, that a conversation with me would cheer and strengthen him.  It felt like such a gift of trust that I was moved with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.

In the same spirit, a neighbor on public assistance, not by her choice, who is struggling to care for two children, knocked firmly on my door yesterday.   When I opened it, she presented me with a miniature shopping bag.  In it was a Christmas-red scarf for which I had been searching and which she found in her latest outing.  It was exactly what I wanted to brighten up what I have been feeling is a drab and spiritless season.  Again, I was so moved by her gesture, especially since her financial situation does not allow for any luxuries.  As the recipient of such generosity, how can I ever again have a selfish thought?

Thank goodness for the angels in our lives who remind us how fortunate we are!

I just know.

Like you, I imagine, I make promises to myself on a daily basis about how I'm going to eat right and exercise, starting NOW!  Yet, at the end of every day, it is clear that, once again, the day has gone by and none of the steps I planned has been put in place.  Until now.

Exercising daily was and is part of that daily promise.  The amount of time and money I have spent trying to persuade and cajole and ease myself into exercising every day cannot be calculated.  My collection of books, magazines, print-outs from online searches, and DVDs could easily stock the fitness section of a small library.  Yet, aside from occasional short-lived spurts of activity, I have not been able to establish a lifetime habit of daily exercise.  Until now.

A little over two weeks ago, on Saturday, November 26, I had a short talk with myself and decided that, if nothing else, I would do one move a day, a modified sun salutation adapted from yoga.  That was it.  I have done it every day since and, for whatever reason, I know this will stick.  I don't know why.  I can't give you any insight into what made this time different.  It is and I just know.

I am up to doing 4 to 5 in a row each day.  Sometimes it leads into more yoga moves or into toning or aerobic moves and sometimes not.  But, it is happening every day and it will continue as long as I am able.  I don't know why.  I wish I could tell you what kicked it off.  I just know this time will stick, no hysteria, no beating or berating myself.

Maybe that is part of it.  My steady quiet conviction that this is now a daily occurrence for the rest of my life and that's it, no discussion.

What can I say?  Give it a try.

(R)Evolution

Another family party!  Another "big food" event!  Crispy chips, delectable cheeses and creamy dips calling me from the coffee table, my mother's famous Hungarian paprika chicken, aromatic spices folded into cool sour cream, reaching out, enticing me.  And the desserts!  Again, my mother's, a thickly richly layered chocolate cherry trifle, dense dark chocolate truffle cake, and, thanks to my brother, a new temptation to torture me, salty crispy pretzels drizzled with white and dark chocolates, molten caramel and crunchy chopped nuts.  Can you imagine it all?  Can you taste it all?  I can!  Looking for a green leaf, I found it under crumbled feta cheese and candied walnuts. 

What to do"?  How to deal?  I did not want to walk away from another family gathering, feeling like my insides were bursting and paying for it with days of extra pounds and regret.  This time I would be prepared.  I was going to pick and choose before I even got there.  My sister gave me advance warning by letting me know what was on the menu, none of it low-fat, barely a vegetable or a fruit in sight unless it was disguised by fat or sugar.

Armed with this information, I planned out my strategy.  I would contribute foods I enjoy and could eat.  Hours later and two hours late, I arrived, dragging a bag of grilled veggies, hummus, and fruit salad.  I added each to the appropriate table and then put together a plate for myself, whimpering only a little at the sight of my most favorite, blue cheese.  I then turned my attention to all the interesting, warm and talkative family and friends who had gathered to celebrate my nephew's arrival to adulthood, his 18th birthday.

Hours later again, driving home alone in the cold dark night, I gave myself a resounding cheer.  Yes!  I had gotten through the visit with a minimum of agony and no trespassing into forbidden foods.  Newly determined to do right by my body and my health, I declared fiercely, "This is a revolution!"

Yes, it is.  And, no, it's not.  Because, as fiercely and as quickly as you want it, it is actually an evolution.  Changing your habits and yourself takes time.  Lots of time, life-long time.  It's a never-ending process which can be exciting and tedious at once.  No matter how anxious and antsy you are, you need to hang onto the revolutionary fervor and see it through over time to get results.  It can truly and rightly be done no other way.  So, no matter how many instant winners there are out there and no matter how many extreme makeovers happen in a day or a week, you have to accept that lifetime changes take a lifetime.  You know it's worth it.  

So,

Learn from your slip-ups.

Cheer for your triumphs.

Be grateful for the time you are given.

Give thanks for the continuing opportunities you have.

You are worth the time and the effort!

Salud!